A Hard, Bitter Lesson
by Stalking Severus Snape
Summary: The events leading up to how and why Amarah decided to take up fencing. I wanted to come up with a background story for my character and this is what I came up with.


"A Hard, Bitter Lesson" An Ultima Online Inspired Story by Ami E. Bowen aka Amarah  
  
It was ten years ago...When I was a much younger woman....really not much more than a girl...  
  
The sun was just peeking from behind the horizon when I heard the sound of my sister's giggle. Her laugh sounded like the tinkling of bells and most people found it endearing. I rolled over in the small bed and pulled the thin wool undyed blanket to my chin, groaning rather loudly.   
  
I heard Mother whisper something in her soft elfin tone of voice and soon Alaura was calling me from the doorway. "Amarah! Arise! The day is new and you're still abed?"   
  
I heard the smile in her voice. Cracking one eyelid, I looked across the room and noticed that her bed was made nice and tight. Alaura always was a neat and prissy one. Sometimes it annoyed me that we looked so much alike on the outside yet on the inside we couldn't be more different.   
  
I turned over and groaned again. My whole body felt like someone had thrown me down a steep rocky hill...and I hit every rock on the way to the bottom Father and I had gone over the sword-drills the day before. From sun-up till sun-set we practiced with wooden-practice weapons. I had gotten in a few good hits and parried better than I had the last time we sparred...but still...I knew I had a long way to go before I could match him sword for sword.   
  
As I sat up and swung my long legs over the side of the bed I wondered again why, exactly, I was so adamant about becoming adept with the blade. Mother, Yashkeena, who was full-blooded elf and had powers that most people thought were a bit odd...entered the room I shared with my twin and sat down on the side on the bed. She placed her hands across my aching back and I felt soothing warmth from her fingers and palms as healing magic flowed from her to me and eased my pain.   
  
"Better, my daughter?" She smiled at me and I looked at her over my shoulder, thinking again that Alaura and I looked more like her than my father. But at least I had his eyes. Deep, liquid brown. Alaura had been gifted with eyes the color of a spring sky, like our mother. "You wear yourself out. If only you knew..."   
  
Her eyes became dim and her delicate brows drew together across her forehead for a moment as she withdrew into herself. She often became so. I feared that living so close to humans was affecting her and worried about her health and mental state. Perhaps if we planned a trip to her birth-home...  
  
"Mother?" I asked, reaching to touch her shoulder, "Are you well?"   
  
"Oh...Yes." She shook her head slightly, flame-red hair loose and long moved slightly with the motion and she squeezed my hand, "Come, Amarah. Get dressed and hurry to the kitchen. We must discuss something with you."   
  
I quickly donned my plain blue dress and sandals. I draped the cotton nightgown I had been wearing across the bed. I left my dark blue cloak hanging on the peg near the door and brushed my own fiery locks until they looked presentable. I tied my hair back at the nape of my neck in a ponytail with a strip of leather.   
  
"Amarah!" Alaura ran to me and embraced me. As I hugged her I watched our parents...for my father had entered and was standing, tall and broad-shouldered behind my mother, his hands resting protectivly upon her thin shoulders. Soft smiles were pasted on both their faces and I was more than curious as to this early morning family gathering.   
  
"So, what's going on...Father? Mother? What are you so excited about, Alaura?"   
  
"Amarah." My father, Lars Raine, warrior and skilled fencer, began, "Your mother and I have decided to allow you girls to be educated away from home."   
  
I looked at them. Alaura wore an expectant, hopeful expression. I knew she loved her books and would like nothing better than to spend her life engulfed within them. It's always been her dream to see the great libraries of Britain and meet the scholars of Magicia.   
  
I was always a poor student. During studies, while Mother tried to teach us numbers and words how they played a vital part of our lives, I dreamed of being outside and on adventures. I longed to be seeking out the happenings which Alaura seemed content to live through stories only.   
  
"Isn't it wonderful, Amarah?" Alaura beamed and I suddenly felt like striking her. Her face, so much like my own, looking for all the world like King Britain had just blessed and made her Queen. I turned on her;   
  
"How can you say that, Alaura!?" My face was becoming inflamed, but I didn't care, I was angry. "How can it be wonderful? You know how much becoming a fencer like our father means to me! How can put aside my training for a pile of dusty books and some creaky old teacher's ramblings!?"   
  
"Amarah!" Father said in his stern tone and I looked at him, my eyes damp with tears that wanted to fall but I held them in check due to pride only. One of the most noticable things, besides my love of the blade, I had inherited from my human father was his strong sense of pride. "Enough. Your mother and I've thought this through and it would be in your best interest to follow your sister to be better learned."   
  
"But...What of my training? You said yourself just yesterday that I still need a lot of work..." I was whining and I knew it. I seemed unable to stop myself. It would be horrid if I had to stop training.   
  
"It will only be for a one or two turns, Amarah." Alaura said, her face turning all uppity...as if she were better than me just because she was a better student. I hated when she got that way. "Really. You'd think you were leaving for an entire century!"   
  
"Why..." I began, as I looked at each face I knew there would be no changing any minds, "Did you all have to tell my this so early in the morning? Couldn't it have waited until we were around the dinner table at least?"   
  
"No." My father said, "You are leaving this afternoon. As soon as your escort arrives."   
  
"What?!" I cried, "But I haven't even said good-bye to anyone...Aunt Je'Yah...Uncle Sammer...Our cousins..."   
  
I was talking of my father's brother and his wife, who lived in a modest thatched roof house with their two children. Agnes, a seven year old girl and Omar, their infant son. I would sorely miss them.   
  
If I would be gone for two or three years, as Alaura had just said, I wanted to at least say farewell to people. This was less than fair!   
  
"They'll hear from you from time to time." Mother put in, "You are allowed to write letters home from school, you know. Child, the time will pass before you know it."   
  
As I turned my back on them I felt my father's hard stare and fought the urge to run. His voice was anything but soothing as he said; "Amarah. I shall like to speak with you. In private. Follow me out of doors, would you?"   
  
I heard my sister gasp as she often did whenever she thought trouble was afoot. I felt her touch my hand as I walked towards the front door. "Don't anger him so, sister."   
  
I ignored her and found my father seated on a log behind the house. I waited while he took his time looking up at me. "Daughter." He began, "I've always been proud to call you that, you know. When you and your sister came to us...I am ashamed to say that I resented your birth for I knew your mother was not going to be able to give me any more children, much less the son I had been longing for."   
  
I swallowed back the lump in my throat and was surprised at the hurt his words inflicted on me. I knew mother wasn't the most sturdy of elfin women...it was a miracle she was able to whelp twins and survive the ordeal. Father had told us that she had been weak and bed-ridden for months afterwards. Too weary to do much more than eat and sleep and occasionally stumble a few feet to the bowl on the floor near her bed which served as a commode.   
  
"But as you and your sister grew I realized that even though Alaura would always be the womanly one...you Amarah...my unfading fiery fighter...would be the one to carry on the Raine ways...You would be able to learn to fight and use a sword as well as any boy. Maybe even better. You have a gift for it, my daughter. A gift I would not see wasted."  
  
"You have much of your mother in you, Amarah." He said, standing over me now and holding my chin between his thumb and forefinger, "Not only in looks...Thank goodness you weren't born with swarthy looks like me! Your grit, your will to challenge and question your elders...All your mother all over again. Don't let those teachers damp your fire, girl. While you are at school far from home I want you to keep but two promises to me."  
  
"What is it, father?" I adored my father. Let nothing be said that I ever spoke unkindly about him, for he was my sun and moon and stars as a child. "I will do anything you ask, Father. You know this."  
  
"Wait." With those words we left me and darted behind the house, the sheath of his kryss clanging against his plate as he went. I walked a few steps and sat down on the log to wait. It didn't take long for him to return with the long bundle of folded deerskin. Handing it to me, he said; "This is your going-away gift...and one I hope will serve you well."  
  
I unwrapped the leathers and gasped as a bit of sunlight flashed off the metal. Holding up the beautifully forged kryss I felt tears in my eyes again. Though not of anger or hurt this time. My tears were of pure unexpectant joy. "Oh, father! My own sword!"   
  
"The sheath is in there as well." He said, more to cover his own emotions...he was always embarrassed to show any emotion other than anger and passion. "It's finely made. I hired the best blacksmith in all the lands to forge it for you."   
  
"I don't know how to thank you!" Tears were streaming down my cheeks unhindered now as I gently laid aside the blade and ran to embrace my father, "It's the most wonderful gift I've even been..."  
  
"As for the first promise, Amarah." He held me at arm's length and looked down at me. Even though I was sixteen and already quite tall for my age, my father towered three heads above me. His nickname, before he'd settled down to have a family with my mother, had been Fighting Bear...since he was broad of chest and tall as a bear standing on his hinds legs, front paws in the air, and fought as fiercely as any grizzly in battle. "As soon as you are able...find someone to continue your training...and practice every day the different strikes, feints and parries I've taught you."  
  
"You know it's what I want...more than anything!"   
  
"I know." He said, a twinkle in his blue eyes, "I know I had no need to worry about you, my daughter...I have one other thing to ask of you..."  
  
"The second promise." I said and he nodded, his face a mixture of fear and determination.   
  
I waited and he looked back towards the house. The sound of horses feet could be heard clop-clop-clopping swiftly down the road towards our home and farm. One of the workers we'd hired to gather the vegetable gave a shout to let us know that our escort was arriving.   
  
"Time grows short. Your mother and sister have already gotten your pack ready, I would think." He said...He looked at me again and said strongly, "You must watch after your sister. She's not as strong as you...She thinks she is but...There are many dangers for a girl as delicate as she. Please, You must be her protector...her guard...until I can find a husband to properly look after her..."   
  
I nodded. I knew Alaura wasn't as strong as me and I would want nothing bad to ever happen to her. I loved my twin...even though she got on my nerves a lot and really didn't seem to know which way was up most of the time. But I loved her and would do my best to protect her from harm. I began to realize a very important reason for me going along with her to school. "I promise to keep my word, father. I will go away to school and keep my eye on Alaura."   
  
Of course I would. I could not do other. I would want to die if anything happened to her.   
  
"And practice." He reminded. I smiled, as if I needed to be reminded. I couldn't wait to try out my new sword.   
  
Suddenly though a cold, bitter wind passed over my body and I heard something that I swear I shall never forget. Even in sleep, many turns later, the sound would wake me. The earth rumbled, as if an earthquake were about to crack the ground and the roar of a whole pack of wild bear echoed through the hills surrounding my little hamlet. Though, as my heart restarted in my chest a loud thumping, I knew no bear could ever make the sound I had heard!  
  
Screams rent the air as men ran from homes, shoving women and children behind them, swords and bows out and ready. Confused, mouth agape, I watched as tens of tens...it seemed...of trolls and orcs and horridly formed Ettins broke down the walls which would have kept humanly intruders out and lumbered into our town with weapons swinging.   
  
"Amarah! Quickly!" My father motioned to me, drawing his weapon, "Hide in the thicket! Do not move...do not make a sound!"   
  
"But, father!" I thought of my virgin sword...how it must thirst for blood...blood of our enemies...who would strike us down without thought or emotion. "I can fight! Let me fight!"  
  
"No! No!" He said, shoving me into the dense forest and saying again, "Hide yourself, daughter! Please! You must live!"   
  
Obeying, I sobbed and thought as I crouched down in the foliage; So must you, father...so must you...Mother! Alaura! Are they well? Oh, why can't I do something!?   
  
I heard the shrieks of women as children were snatched from them, their tiny heads bashed on rocks and the terrible gruff laughter of the orcs who thought it funny how our peaceful village people, farmers mostly, a few hunters scattered about and the only warrior besides old Herrod...my father...died so quickly. Our blood mixing with the soil of the land we toiled so hard to...  
  
I put my fingers in my ears to block out the sound of the death cries of friends and neighbors and the laughter and guttural speech of our foes. As I waited...hours...days...I could not be sure...a feeling began to grown inside of me...An emotion I have never felt before and it narrowed my dark eyes into slits and fisted my hands upon my lap.   
  
At last the air was still save for the dripping of blood and cawing of scavenger birds, the monsters had left...My hiding place remained unmolested and darkness stretched across the land. I rose and felt the coward for remaining hidden while the rest of my hamlet fought for their lives...many to the death. I cursed myself under my breath and bore a large cross of blame across my lowered shoulders.   
  
My hair a'tangle and my legs and arms scratched by thorns from the thicket, I ran back to my house and felt the tight fist close about my heart as I glimpsed my mother's boot in the doorway. Blood leaked from the inside and soaked the ground. I cried and ran to the house.   
  
My sword...the kryss father had given me only hours before...was gone...stolen...along with the beautifully crafted leather sheath. I shed no tears though and ran on. I would not cry over a piece of metal which could be replaced...  
  
"Mother!" I found her and her sister-in-law...Ja'Yeh, strew across the floor. Baby Omar a tiny corpse...his small frame so mutilated as to be unrecognizable. But I knew who it was...The only thing Aunt Ja'Yeh would be holding so fiercely to her breast would be her son. My mother looked as if she had been trying to protect Ja'Yeh and the baby.   
  
A kitchen knife was clutched in her hand and her stomach and chest had been ripped apart. Her right leg, below the knee, had been cleaning severed and I realized the blood from the boot near the doorway came from the separated limb still inside the footwear. weapon had gone into Mother and Ja'Yeh in one...no...It seemed two strokes only.   
  
I walked about the small town, sickness rising and coating my throat with bile...counting the dead and weeping...helpless and afraid and needing to do something...anything...to ease the ache growing within me with every sign of death I saw. I saw the futility of it all in every pallid, blood-drenched face...every set of lifeless eyes staring up at me beseechingly.   
  
"You will be avenged!" I sobbed, as I found my father...his life's blood having been drained away from a gaping wound in his skull and a slice across his throat...they had taken him from behind and front. Cowards! They couldn't even fight him on fair terms! The backbiters had to do two on one! Two on one! I held my father's limp head in my lap and sobbed so hard my whole body shook.   
  
When I had cried so much that I was gasping for air I raised my head to the skies and screamed...no...howled...like a beast in pain...the sound so feral and so full of agony as to be unreal. I couldn't imagine such a sound could come from a sixteen year old half-elfin girl.   
  
Something tickled the back of my mind...Someone was missing...I didn't want to think! I shook my head. I couldn't think right now...not now...  
  
I hiccuped and shook myself. I had work to do...I knew and wasted time by sitting there. Standing I began to drag all the bodies into the center of the hamlet. Our town was shaped like circle, with buildings on the inside circle and houses and farms about the outside. In the center, one could stand upon the hill and see all around the houses and businesses of our meager town. I placed the dead upon the hill in a carefully formed pile. It was hard work and a cold sweat had broken out across my brow long before the task was complete.   
  
When at last the dead were stacked, I placed my father on the top of the pile and gasped as a thought came to me. Though I had been seeking and hoping and praying and not daring to do any of those outright...I had failed to see my sister anywhere among the dead.   
  
All the village was gone...those I had failed to count among the dead I would surmise become hostages...to be killed or bartered off as slaves. I prayed Alaura had been killed. I know it may seem harsh for me to think that about my own dear sister, but I would rather have her dead and gone than forced to become some orc's thrall!  
  
"Alaura!" I cried...remembering my promise to father. I must find her! I must protect her! I knew she wasn't dead! I would feel it...as I felt mother and father...as I felt every death that came this day deep in my soul...If she were dead. She was not! She was alive...somewhere. "Alaura! Alaura! Where are you? Please! Answer me if you can!"  
  
"Girl!" The voice was faint...from the pile...I ran to it and shoved aside bodies until I found the half-alive body of an elderly man. I had thought him to be dead and gone...his chest was so still...his flesh so cold. "I'm dying...no need...to move me..."  
  
"Oh, Herrod!" I cried, recognizing him as an old friend of my father's. His mentor as a boy, "It's awful! Mother and father are...I couldn't stop it and now my sister may be..."  
  
"I know...child...listen!" He gasped and I heard something rattle within his body, "Your...sister...she escaped with the...the...escort..."  
  
Of course! The escort! My heart skipped and I thanked the gods for this miracle. Alaura was safe! I had nearly forgotten about the escort...so much had happened in a few short hours that the trip to a far-off school seemed so trivial now. "Thank you, Herrod! Thank you! May spirits of goodness arrive swiftly to carry you on your journey home...thank you!"   
  
"It was...a good fight...child..." A smile on his lips, the old man died.   
  
"You shall be avenged..." I said again, though my heart soared at the thought of seeing my sister and making certain that she had come to no harm... "I promise...you did not fight in vain, Herrod."  
  
I turned from my hamlet...sighed and straightened my shoulders. I began to walk. I did not know how far the next town or if I would even be able to make it...but I could not look back. I could not stop. Nothing but death and emptiness lay behind me. I had much to do. Much to learn.   
  
I would seek out a teacher...first thing. A warrior to continue my training and help me hone my fighting skills. I would not rest until I could come back and hunt down those who murdered my kith and kin. I would not rest until I had my sister back again. I followed the dusty road and began to form a plan in my mind to seek out all the schools and scholars of the lands...One had to know where my sister was.   
  
Odd...I thought...Mother knew...I should have realized...She knew there would have a use for my talent with the blade...one day.   
  
I had learned my first harsh lesson of the land...eat or be eaten. Kill or be killed. No more. I would soon know how to kill...and my soul screamed with the promise.   
  
~End~ 


End file.
